Through Morning's Like This
by PlasterRose
Summary: Nathaniel is sent to find his Commander early one morning.


Nathaniel wandered down the hall of vigils keep trying to shake off a long night with little sleep. The nightmares that came with the taint occasionally became bad enough of wake him up not long after he had drifted off, leaving him bothered enough by what he had seen that he would resign himself to getting up and going to the training grounds to get some practice in.

Not that he needed much improvement, but he wasn't foolish enough to think he didn't need constant work to keep his skills sharp.

He had been on his way back from the grounds to see if he could scrounge something from the kitchens when he was stopped by a nervous looking messenger.

"Hello Ser Howe," The messenger was a young elf boy who was almost shaking in his boots. He must have been new because Nathaniel didn't recognize him. "The seneschal sent me to fetch the commander but I'm not sure where her chambers are."

Ah, that was why the boy seemed so nervous.

The commander was certainly a intimidating woman. She was cold, calculating, her Dalish tattoos made her already sharp features even more harsh. He had even been told that her name, Daeris, meant Shadow Queen.

Nathaniel felt bad for the young boy and decided to hold off on finding breakfast. "That's alright lad, I'll go get her. Run off and tell the seneschal she will be down as soon as she can."

The elf thanked him profusely before running off into the dark of the early morning keep.

Nathaniel sighed, turning on his heels to wake the commander. He was a bit surprised, normally she would already be up, going over the days plans, or barking instructions at the newer recruits. Nate was sure they weren't missing her during their morning training. Truly most of them joined because they were inspired by the tales of her heroics during the Blight, then after they met her, those that survived the joining held a mix of fear and awe of the elf.

It wasn't like she was cruel, Nate thought, she was distant. She didn't flinch away from the harsh decisions. Like when they had come upon a man held prisoner in Kal'Hirol, she had killed him, not wanting to risk sending a infected man out into the world.

Then she would turn around and give Anders a kitten she had found wandering around the keep. Daeris was a confusing woman to say the least. She rarely smiled, and generally kept to herself. Yet she would help those who didn't have the means to help themselves, even when she wouldn't get anything out of it.

Nate and Anders had been theorizing that maybe her travels during the blight had caused her to become the way she was, but Ohgren had stepped in, the stench of ale clinging to him. "Nah, you should have seen her back then, had a silver tongue that one, could talk the pants off a Chantry mother if she wanted." He said, some of his words slurring together. "She used to crack jokes left and right with the little pike twirler. It was some of the only entertainment we could get out on the road."

Anders raised a brow at that. "Cracking jokes? Our commander? The scary rouge lady?"

Ohgren grabbed a flask from his armor and took a long swig, belching loudly before answering. "Yup, that's the one. I even helped free her from prison once, only found her in her small clothes too. Mmm what a sight that was..." with that the dwarf turned to walk away, a lecherous glint in his eye. Nate looked at Anders and grimaced at the dwarfs back. "Well that is a reliable source." He said before wandering off to find something better to do with his time.

Nathaniel thought over this conversation as he neared the commander's door. he slowed down to listen close to the door, seeing if she was moving about the room. He was met with silence, so he raised his hand to knock on the door. Before he brought his hand down against the wood he noticed that the door was ajar. He took this as a sign that he could enter to he quietly opened the door, to find something he had not been expecting.

Daeris was sitting behind her desk, which sat in front of the windows looking over the grounds. Her face was turned to watch the sun raising slowly over the trees beyond the keep. Her dark hair which was normally bound in a tight bun fell over her shoulders in waves. Nate felt his eyes run over it, feeling his heart beat a unsteady rhythm in his chest, he had never seen Daeris without her up and her constant battered warden commander armor. In fact, as he took in the rest of her, he had never seen her in any other clothes.

He was a bit confused by what she was wearing now though. A white tunic that seemed about three times too big for her draped over her from, making her look like she was drowning in the fabric. Upon even further inspection the garment was threadbare and had been repaired carefully many times.

She was sitting so still that Nathaniel wondered if she had fallen asleep in the chair, when she lifted a hand from her lap.

Held between her fingers was a deep red rose. Daeris turned her head to look down at the flower. The look on her face shook Nathaniel to the core. Her normally cold features were softened greatly and a small smile playing across her lips, But her eyes shimmered with tears as she ran a finger along a petal, gently as if she were waiting for it to crumble in her hand.

Nathaniel quickly became aware that he had intruded onto a moment where he didn't belong.

As he tried to slip out the door to try to pretend he hadn't just seen her private moment. He was almost out the door when he heard the dark, husky voice he took orders from everyday stop him. "You aren't nearly as silent as you think you are Nate, you need to work on that if you're going to be of any use to me." Nathaniel let out a sigh as he turned back around to face Daeris, who was now standing, having set her rose down on her desk.

"I'm sorry commander, I was sent to come find you...I didn't mean to..." He rattled his brain for some kind of excuse for his behavior.

"Didn't mean to spy on a lady in her bedroom?" She said, any trace softness gone from her face.

"Yes, I'm sorry commander." He said resigning himself to whatever punishment she may inflict on him.

She didn't respond for a while, just looking him over, before she let out a long breath and moved from her desk towards her armor stand. "Well, you're here so help me put on my armor. Then I can go help calm whatever crisis is bound to be waiting for me now." She said tucking the over sized shirt into her leggings. Nathaniel hurried over to do what she had asked. She didn't seem angry with him, which wasn't comforting him at all.

"Do you know what Varel wants?" She said, facing towards the wall, a edge of annoyance entering her voice.

"No, i'm wasn't told what it was about." He fumbled with the buckles on her armor. they needed to be replaced badly, in fact the whole set needed some care. Yet she didn't seem to care about it's state.

"I probably know," her voice had gone quiet, Nathaniel almost didn't hear her. "It's only a couple weeks away now."

"Whats a few weeks away?" He was confused by her reaction to whatever was approaching.

"Really Nate?" exasperation bleed through the statement. "Do you not remember anything of the previous year?"

With that he felt like a moron. "Of course, the first anniversary of you slaying the archdemon is coming up." He said, finishing his task of strapping her into her gear.

Daeris turned to look towards her desk, the stoic mask faltering, pain running across her features as her eyes settled on the rose across the room.

"I wasn't the one who killed it." She said clenching her fists at her side. "A fact which most seem to forget." Nathaniel watched as her brows knit together, she bit down on her lip, looking as if she were about to fall apart. Before he could say anything she had closed her eyes, taken a deep breath, and her face settled back into its usual cold mask. She lifted her head to look him in the eye.

"Everyone loves to fawn over the hero who is still alive don't they?"

The ice in her words settled over Nathaniel as he watched his commander square her shoulders, turn, and walk from the room.

Nathaniel looked back at the rose she had left on the desk, then followed quickly after her.

* * *

><p>AN: I don't own anything. Bioware owns everything Dragon Age.

So aparently when I am having trouble with my Alistair/Cousland story I write random one shots.

which does help, trust me.

I was replaying Origins the other day and I thought about how my Dalish character would probably be really affected by Alistair sacrificing himself for her. Especially after she lost Tamlen. So from that idea this came pouring out of my head.

read and review please! Thank you for reading!


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